Thankful

Thankful that stages of life don't last forever!

Not that it was really a "stage of life" but it was a (relatively short) time of difficulty for the past few weeks. You know, that old familiar "I can't do anything right. I have no motivation or energy. All I want to do is go to sleep to escape from life. I hate my job. I can't stand anybody. My kids irritate me to no end. I can't stand myself for being such a shallow, selfish, and incompetent person. I can't stand anything anymore. How on earth am I going to survive today?" It was pretty rough, and I really didn't see how to change it or get through it. Of course, I just kept on going and the minutes, hours, and days went by somehow. There was really only one day at school where I seriously thought about just getting up and walking out because I didn't think I could handle it anymore. What an annoying and dark cloud I was under for awhile! BUT Praise the Lord, it is gone! Hallelujah!

I think something that really helped was our field trip to the zoo this last Wednesday! It was looking a little big to me, and on top of the normal outing-with-five-kindergarten-students stress, I also happened to pick the one day in the week that was cloudy and a high chance of rain. Great. But the night before I decided to pray that the rain would hold off, and later I found out that one of my parent chaperones had also felt led to simply ask God to keep the rain away from the zoo. As she was talking to me about that, she mentioned how God is an individual God who cares about us as individuals and knows our needs and wants and desires, and He wants to give us good things and do good things for us because He loves us! Wow. It was simple and it was nothing I had not heard before, but as I remembered that I also had prayed for no rain, it just sunk into my soul as a reassurance of God's love and care for me. It was just a tiny thing, but it was a little turning in my heart of realizing that God was still interested in me and wanted to help me. He heard and answered my prayer about the rain, and He would take care of the bigger things as well. Also, in the back of my mind was a recent blog post I had read on Cissie Graham Lynch's blog (Franklin Graham's daughter). It was encouraging to remember and think about even though I didn't feel quite that bad, yet.

The parent chaperone and I had quite a bit of time to converse on the trip to and from the zoo and it was such an encouraging and uplifting time. Not that it was without distractions and interruptions from my dear students, but just the little bits and pieces of conversation were a blessing. I always come away for my conversations with her feeling very blessed and strengthened spiritually, and it was the same this time around. She is a great lady who shares about God and His work in a natural and comfortable way. He is forefront in her daily life and it just comes out in regular conversations. A good testimony and example to me, and I reap the benefits from it when I interact with her.

Let's see. This week was also Teacher Appreciation week which helped to encourage me, especially as a teacher. Specifically today, when students gave me precious cards and chocolate and flowers and brownies :) That'll help your attitude any day!

And also the weather today was nearly heaven on earth. That was a great gift from God as well. As I said to the school secretary (whom I love!): This type of weather is good for your soul!

And so tonight I am thankful to my good God, who loves me, is interested in me, and takes care of me. I am thankful that I am again enjoying life, enjoying the hugs my students give me, enjoying the tadpoles in my classroom, enjoying laughing at the cute and funny things students do and say, enjoying the sunshine, enjoying people, and now enjoying the weekend!

Praise the Lord :)